Control

 My last post and my current reading material got me thinking about control.

Hmmmm, where to start? Pardon the rather religious language I'm about to use, it's because of my Catholic upbringing and isn't meant to tell anyone to believe or not believe...

There seem to me to be two extremes it's important to balance. On the one hand, God gave us our brains so we could use them... and planning ahead is a large part of that. (As they say - God favors the prepared).

But there's also the notion that we should 'let go and let God'. That can be good, too. It means being open to the world around you, to what it's telling you.

But it can also lead to too much passivity, to forgetting your ability to shape the world around you.

The extremes are to become so focused on planning and controlling that you forget to be open vs becoming so passive that you let the world decide for you.

Hmmm, I don't think I'm explaining that well. Let's try something else.

A long, long, looooooong time ago I played volleyball in school. One of the things I remember is the mental state you have to be in while waiting for the other team to hit the ball over the net. You have to be on the balls of your feet, alert, watching... ready to respond wherever the ball goes. You don't get to control where the team hits the ball, but if you're trained and ready you can respond whichever way it comes.

This also reminds me of an exercise we did when I studied martial arts. We would wait on the mat while everyone else lined up, and the teacher gave each of them directions on what to do as the approached in turn. They might just wave hi, they might try to attack... you had to be ready for whatever came. You had to be able to read their body language, see what was coming, and respond accordingly.

That state of mind is what I really want people to have. Not an attempt to try and control what other people do, but having the skills and confidence to know that you can deal with it whatever comes your way. 

Planning and preparation combined with an ability to be in the moment, to be present, to see what's in front of you and act accordingly.

If people take that planning and preparation too far, it can become like a tennis match in Spy x Family... where the other side cheated in order to ensure their victory. They did all sorts of things (fictional ofc, because this is anime) to make sure they would win. Like putting a device on the ball so they could control where it went, or messing with the net. Any victory they achieved wasn't a victory in tennis, wasn't because of their skills at the game, but because they were able to control the environment to make sure they won no matter what.

I was thinking about this partly because of my latest bit of entertainment... a webnovel called The Regressed Demon Lord is Kind.

The plot is a bit complicated to get into here, so I'll just discuss the relevant parts. Which ofc means some spoilers for the story...

Basically there's a character who became a villain (a Demon Lord) who gets killed by a hero and his team. But he regressed and went back in time. When dying, the hero told him that he hoped in his next life the villain would be kind. So our villain decided to try that.

The thing is, as the story progresses you come to learn that the hero... may not actually be a hero. He also seems to have some sort of time travel ability (though not, apparently, one that made him come from the same timeline as our protagonist). He seems to have deliberately created villains in order to build his team of heroes so he can defeat them. We don't yet know his motives, though it seems likely it's so that he can gain prestige and renown as a hero...

What's interesting is how this plays out with the concept of 'control', because he is definitely trying to control the entire plot.

Not just with creating villains. There's a character that was part of the hero team that our protagonist clearly remembers using a large shield. Except when they meet her, back in time, she's more of a swordswoman. She does have a shield, but it's not that large and isn't her primary focus.

We learn that her companion (the 'hero') keeps pressuring her to switch to the shield, keeps telling her that she isn't actually good with the sword. Even though our protagonist (and another member of his team) think she's quite talented.

This really bothers me for a variety of reasons. If the 'hero' thought he needed a good defender on his team, he could have picked someone else. Or he could have asked her to start using a shield more to help fill in the gaps on the team.

Instead he is trying to manipulate her by making her feel less capable. And in the process he's trying to force her into a path that a) she doesn't really want to do and b) doesn't actually seem to be where her skills lie.

He's making her less than she can be, and for what? To achieve some 'perfect' victory by having a beautiful team of heroes? All of whom fill the roles he wants them to? Leaving aside the pain and suffering the villains he creates do (and suffer, too) she's his teammate. She's one of his colleagues. 

But he can't let her develop to her best self, because he wants her to be something else.

THAT is the line I find... well, it seems silly to say this for a completely made up and fictional story... but blasphemous. Abhorrent. An insult to God.

It's trying to force the story in the direction he wants, not because it's actually the best, but because he thinks it's for the best.

Like... plan all you want. Work hard to make your dreams come true. Try to make the nation be stronger, better, etc...

But there is a line you shouldn't cross, and that line starts with trying to force people into something they're not.

Trying to make them be what you want them to be. 

Trying to make the world fit your narrow vision of what it ought to be, with no regard for the wants and desires of everyone else.

In a way, that's what bothers me with the bs we're seeing with the Republican party today. With their acceptance of what Trump did on Jan 6, as well as the poorly thought out legal judgements of this conservative dominated Supreme Court.

The rules of our system require us to try to persuade each other, to achieve our policy goals through elections...

And these guys are instead trying to force everyone to go along with their narrow and short-sighted vision of who we should be.

It's all of those adjectives I used above. Abhorrent. Disgusting. Revolting. Blasphemous. An insult to God, really.

Pisses me off to a high degree.

I don't mind people trying to achieve their goals, I mind greatly when they trammel on everyone else in order to achieve them.