In my last couple of posts I basically argued that the wealthy had enough independence that they could do what they really wanted. It's a crying shame when instead they go along with and enable crappy behavior.
I don't want to imply that you can afford to ignore other people's opinions all the time, or without consequences, but the topic was too nuanced to get into there so I figured I'd write a separate post.
It also relates a bit to a discussion I had on the Netflix show The Untamed. Which means I'm going to start with that, and I'm going to give out spoilers so read at your own risk.
In the show, public opinion is practically a character in it's own right. In the very first episode we hear people gossiping and spreading rumors (which we later learn were misleading when not outright wrong), and so we quickly learn that the main character - Wei Wuxian - has a villainous reputation.
His reputation actually plays quite a bit in the story. He uses questionable magic to help his side win a war, and even though many people were uncomfortable with him and scared of him, they mostly just let him be.
Then when the war ended, he discovered that innocent and unthreatening civilians were being treated badly simply because they belonged to the losing side. He's arrogant, inexperienced, and powerful... so he rescues these remnants, but in such a way that he pretty much offends all the powers-that-be.
Wei Wuxian's reputation starts coming into play here, as many of them assume the worst. Rumors spread that he's raising an army and other such stupid ideas. When another character gets cursed, he blames Wei Wuxian for it. Without any proof or evidence, but people believe it. Because of Wei Wuxian's reputation. Because who else would? So he takes a couple hundred people and ambushes Wei Wuxian, setting off the tragic sequences of events that led to Wei Wuxian's death at the beginning of the story. (He gets better. You also learn that in the first episode.)
I was talking about it with some other fans, or rather talking about Wei Wuxian's attitude towards his reputation vs. his adopted brother's (Jiang Cheng, heir to their sect. Their troubled relationship plays a large role in the story.)
See, back in college my sociology class talked about all the unwritten rules we abide by. How when we walk into a classroom as a student we all know not to sit in the teacher's chair. Rules about what to wear, how we answer the phone, etc. And we had an assignment to break one of those unwritten rules.
And here's the thing - most of the time those rules are about as thin as tissue paper. You can break them with almost no consequence. Except maybe some weird looks. (Though many people find it scary and impossible to do, nonetheless.)
But humans are very social, and sometimes there really are consequences. There are people so upset or offended (like one person said when they wore a winter coat on a bus in summer) that they go out of their way to say something to you, or can even react violently.
As anyone who breaks those social norms can tell you - as gays, and transsexuals, and people who just don't fit in - there are people who for some reason get violently offended by it. (People are weird that way, and I don't really understand it. I'll use the winter coat example since it avoid some polarizing political points. I might find it weird, but it's not like I'm the one being asked to wear a heavy coat in summer, so it's none of my business. And I'm sure you have your reasons, even if I don't know them. So who cares? You do you, wear whatever you want. You can wear galoshes or flippers or a tutu if that's what you want to. I might question that decision if you decide to show up at a conventional work place like that. Then again, the sheer guts it would take to do such a thing and the amusement I'd get at seeing everyone freak out means I might find it absolutely delightful if you did.)
In the TV show, Wei Wuxian clearly seems to know this. He knows that social norms and conventions are as thin as tissue paper, and he ignores them whenever he can do so without bringing down consequences on his adopted family and sect. He has no shame and does whatever he wants.
His adopted brother Jiang Cheng on the other hand, sect heir and all, is overly worried about reputations. As part of the drama leading up to Wei Wuxian's death he has a falling out with Jiang Cheng. There's a lot going on with that. Jiang Cheng is a new and inexperienced sect leader trying to rebuild their clan after the war, and he's not exactly in a position to challenge the other clans over the treatment of their war prisoners. There's all sorts of parts of their mutual history at play, but what's most relevant to this post was that Jiang Cheng was extremely worried about popular opinion and Wei Wuxian wasn't.
And Wei Wuxian ended up making enemies of all the sects and dying. So... it seems Jiang Cheng's wasn't wrong. Except that there were all sorts of places where things might have been handled diferently, and if Jiang Cheng had decided to protect Wei Wuxian instead of agreeing to cut their connection it might have been enough to turn the tides.
It's a really complex story and I could spend a lot of time writing about what happened, where things went wrong, how they could have gone differently, whether it's worth trying to place blame on any of the characters (and if so how much)...
But that's getting a bit too deep in the weeds for this post. What I'll say is this - public opinion, social norms, and other people's perceptions can be ignored quite a bit of the time. Right up until it can't.
Part of the problem is that people have a very poor sense of when it's which. When the consequences are minor or easily tolerated and when they become dire.
People also have a hard time seeing how they may effect those consequences. How one person speaking out at the right time can shift public opinion, and sometimes fail to do so (and create negative consequences for themselves in the process).
The point of all this... well. I guess what I'll say is that I understand why some people are so socialized that they're afraid of going against the flow, and there sometimes are very real consequences for doing so.
On the other hand, too much of that means too many people afraid of being who they are. Afraid of speaking out and standing up for their beliefs, and ultimately it leads to a rather miserable way of life.
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