Friday, June 27, 2025

Update and Ramblings

 Well, a week ago it sounded like we were headed for WWIII, and now the news cycle has shifted and we're back to 'normal'.

Actually, it reminds me of when my Mom was dealing with cancer. How her health fluctuated up and down. 

Sometimes she was in the hospital, sometimes she was home and 'normal'... but despite the cyclical ups and downs the overall trend was down.

This time, we had a sitting President bomb the sovereign territory of another nation - without the usual 'treaties' and agreements that allowed us to take action in the other places we've bombed, without a declaration of war from Congress, without all the usual fakery. And the usual people point this out and complain, and the usual people shrug and move on, and it's hard to say that it actually matters.

Except it's an ocean tide sweeping away another swath of sand from the beach called 'rule of law'. Another hefty bit of erosion ruining it all.

*sigh*

And here I am, still looking for a damn job.

It's frustrating, of course. I am 100% sure that if I got hired as a SOC Analyst (what I'm currently applying for the most) that I could do the job, do it well, and the company that hires me would not regret it. I've been studying regularly, working towards the GCIH and doing rooms in TryHackMe, and I'm pretty confident I can do the job.

I am not, however, confident at all that whoever is hiring will ever look past my resume (with a dearth of actual InfoSec experience. Though, honestly... are ELK stack searches when troubleshooting an application in DevOps truly that much different from a SIEM search? Or building a dashboard in either? I think the basic skills are the same, and it's just a matter of using the right keywords and syntaxes and filtering tools... but whatever.)

It is very frustrating, and depressing, and I after so many applications with either the polite e-mail saying they're proceeding with other candidates or the usual black hole of nothing, I am wondering if I need to change up what I'm doing somehow.

I don't really want to change the type of job I'm applying for, even though I'm sure there are other jobs in IT I might have an easier time getting. Idk, I had put off seriously trying to do any sort of bug bounty hunting because at the end of the day I'm far more interested in tracking an incident through massive log searches (with maybe a bit of malware analysis and/or dfir) than I am with actually hacking into things, but at least if I did the bug bounty hunting I wouldn't have to deal with trying to convince hiring managers that I'm their best candidate.

Though maybe I should pull back and consider an even bigger change. Still, I think I'd face the same sort of problems no matter what I tried. 

I mean, blogging still sometimes comes to mind... I do like thinking and writing about things, and it'd be hella flattering if people were interested enough in hearing my takes to actually pay for it.

But it's not like I have a fanbase to build upon, and trying to build a following would probably mean trying to figure out what people want to hear (which would change things considerably) and would also probably take time to get sustainable (if it ever did).

So yeah, probably about as likely as my deciding to take a vow of poverty and join a convent or something. 

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Not Directly About Trump Bombing Iran, Though Perhaps Because of It

One of the questions so many of my non-supporting friends and family struggle with is why people just don't seem to care when Trump breaks every rule, norm, and guideline.

Like - do I really have to explain why Jan 6 (and all Trump's lies about the results of the 2020 election) undermine the Constitution? Is it not obvious? 

But on to a more recent post from one of my social media friends.

To set the context - when people I follow post about politics on social media, I take what they say with different levels of credibility. Some of them seem to just parrot whatever the party line is, and they share overly simplified memes that don't really add anything new to the debate. I think they're more just a marker of group identity than an indication of any real understanding of the issues.

That goes for both left and right, tbh. It's worth noting what arguments are being spread, but a substantive policy discussion these are not.

Then there are the ones who show some level of independent or deeper thought, and if not explicitly independent tend more towards the middle of the political spectrum. I sometimes get new and interesting takes from what they share.

Like - after Jan 6 when I see certain memes, it's probably just the latest partisan campaign. But when someone more in the middle - or worse, more on the liberal side - seems ready to move on from the events of that day, it seems an indicator of general opinion.

A depressing one, really, because it seems less a sign that they are truly okay with what Trump did and more a sign of cognitive dissonance.

Or (as a book about the impact of Gone With the Wind pointed out) it could be that they care more about reconciliation and not rocking the boat. 

Better to just let it go than risk escalating things, I guess? Idk... I don't really see how the system can possibly last once you start letting sitting presidents ignore the Constitution like that.

And yet Jan 6 seemed to fade from collective memory (except for people like me, and I'm sure I alienate some by bringing it up so often. And if it makes people uncomfortable, good.) and we even, as a nation, re-elected the guy who not only failed to uphold the Constitution but practically led an attack on it.

But back to this more recent post, where one of my more moderate follows made a post about people crying wolf, I thought a bit about it.

The post didn't give a lot of context, so I'm not sure what inspired it. It could be all the talk about fascism and tyranny, all the talks about how Trump is a threat to the Constitution.

Except - he truly, honestly, really is. I'm not saying that as some sort of left-wing activist or liberal. I am saying that with all the weight of my political science bachelor's degree and a master's in public affairs.

And no, I'm not saying that because of some out-of-touch white tower academia crap either.

But I found myself thinking about how the arguments against Trump sound to someone who (for whatever reason) doesn't already get it.

It's true that the complaints can sound like hyperbole. 'The sky is falling!' 'Trump wants to be a king!' 

One of my more conservative follows (to his credit, not one that seemed truly happy voting for Trump) made a post back during the election where he commented that with Trump he figured we just had to get through these four years...

And I felt like I would be wasting my breath trying to explain why that was a ridiculously short-sighted and naive viewpoint.

Nobody seems to care.

Or rather, the ones who care already know. 

But it is true that people have been talking about the threat Trump poses for years now. Over a decade even.

Which might be part of the problem? Some of them might be desensitized by now, and once they dismissed the earlier complaints never revisited their judgement with more recent activity.

I think yet another part of the problem though, is that we never truly know when the consequences are going to be felt.

It's like the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back -

Nobody knows exactly when that straw will come. 

Everyone can see the pile of straw building, the weight increasing... but which straw, exactly, will break that back is completely unknown.

If people were to bet on which one it is, some people would place bets well before the camel reaches its carrying capacity, and some will bet much later...

But as long as the straws keep piling on, we all know that we'll reach that breaking point eventually.

This is part of why whenever some world-shaking change happens it's pretty easy to look back and see all the warning signs and the steps leading to that event, but the people living through that time are caught off guard and are completely shocked.

What's one more straw?

People have been predicting a break for ages now and yet life goes on - why would it be any different this time?

So this weekend Trump bombed Iran.

And although many people don't seem to understand this, it's actually a pretty big change.

After all, it is unequivocally an act of war. 

People have become a bit blase about bombings, partly because of all that complicated lawyering people in DC have gone through in order to allow a President to take small-scale military action without needing to go through Congress every time. Whether you agree with them or not, they're the type of thing used to allow us to use a drone strike on an Iranian general back in Trump's first term

Said general was in Iraq at the time, and with all our agreements with the Iraqi government at the time was not really considered an attack on Iranian soil, though there was definitely some concern about how Iran would respond.

There's also all the shadow war stuff, where nations highly suspect one another of being behind an attack, but attribution is unclear and it's hard to make a compelling case for going to war.

Trump's recent bombing of Iranian nuclear sites, however?

They have none of these obfuscating details. 

It was a direct attack on another nation's territory, just like Japan's attack on Pearl Harbor.

Whether you think it was the right move or not, Trump has given Iran a casus belli... and he never got Congress to declare war in the first place.

This is a HUGE change, especially when we consider how long George W. Bush spent getting Congress to declare war on Iraq. 

Remember all those weeks of media coverage? The arguments that Colin Powell made (and that destroyed his credibility for some)? 

Yeah... this attack had none of that.

None.

And as we so often find these days - I have no idea whether this attack truly could kick of WWIII, or if it will somehow fade away and become yet another Trump thing that gets overlooked and ignored.

The final straw, or just one more?

Heck if I know.


Friday, June 13, 2025

No Kings

 Tomorrow I plan to go to a No Kings protest.

I don't know if it will really change anything, yet I can't just sit by and do nothing while that wrecking crew of Trump and his allies continue to destroy this country.

I wanted to talk more about my reasons here... though I feel as though I've layed them out in most of my posts already.

This protest...

There's a lot of fear going around right now. The feeling that things aren't normal, that the protests might escalate and get out of hand and give Trump the excuse to declare martial law and continue to make things even worse.

And yet, what's the alternative? To stay home and let others take the risks? To be one of the free riders that benefits from other people standing up, while taking none of the risks myself? When the more people that step up, the more likely we are to make a difference?

It's a bit like dealing with a domestic abuser - standing up, protesting... these things might make the abuser escalate into more dangerous behavior, but doing nothing just lets them continue their bad behavior without challenge. 

People are afraid, and so I hear and know the advice we've been given. Try to hide your identity. Maybe wear a mask, or bring a burner phone. All of which makes perfect sense when fighting a truly authoritarian government - but are we there yet? 

Protests are part of freedom of speech, the very first right engraved in the Bill of Rights. We should be able to do so without fear of repercussion, and the very fact that people are worried about that shows the danger we're in.

So despite knowing all that, I don't think I'll take such precautions. Not yet, at least. Not before it's proven necessary.

There's more to my thinking, of course. Some of it is tied in with things I've been musing on as I've been searching for my next job.

That fear of instability, the need for a source of income, has definitely taken up quite a bit of my mindspace right now. I've been studying hard to learn about information security. Doing rooms on the tryhackme site, working through some books a kind mentor sent me for the SANS SEC504 course (which could lead to a GCIH certificate).

And yet, when I get back to my roots and think long and hard about where I want to be... at the heart I have always cared most about this country and my definition of it's national security.

And when I look at the world around me, when I read the news and see what's going on in social media, I am angry.

I studied political science, and public affairs. I served in the Army because I believe in this country. Naive and innocent though it may sound, especially the more I learn about our history and the things we've done, I still believe in the potential we have. 

The Constitution.

The Bill of Rights.

A way of living and deciding who we will be based on government by the people, for the people, and of the people.

A path for change that comes from regular elections, legitimately and without the need for revolution or rebellion.

A path that is in danger, by people like Trump who have no respect for any of that. Who feel that elections that they might lose are somehow the problem, rather than the core of what makes America... America.

Part of what I have been struggling with is realizing that so many of my fellow Americans don't understand that.

That they can see and hear the things Trump is doing and just... disregard it. It's not even like they're knowingly looking the other way. It's like a mirror world where black is white and white is black, and they somehow approve and think that Trump is doing good and cheer when he mobilizes the National Guard (against a state governor's wishes!). Like they don't even understand why that's such a bad thing.

I know that this is more about me than people in general. It's like... in a relationship, right? You have who you think your partner is, and the reality of who they are, and when something happens that isn't what you expected it's hard not to feel angry and disappointed. But they haven't truly changed, they are who they are... it's your expectation of who they are that was wrong, and you are now learning something important about the reality you didn't expect.

So you have to update your mental image of who they are.

I had thought all those people waving flags and declaring how much they love this country actually meant it. That they understood how important the Constitution was, and ultimately cared more about the country than any specific party.

This was... probably, again, naive and idealistic. 

Apparently they don't really mean it, and only wave the flag and cheer when it's a politician they support.

I mean... intellectually I kind of knew this. It's natural human bias at work. Tribalism, nationalism, whatever word or term you want to use. They care more about some stupid party than the nation as a whole, though I'm sure in their own minds there's no conflict between the two (and they think supporting said stupid party will help the nation as a whole - even when the party is doing blatantly unconstitutional acts that undermine all our traditions and rules and laws.)

I don't want to despise my fellow Americans so much, so I try to reconcile that ideal with the reality. I know it's not actually black and white, and I'm aware of some of the layers of complexity... but I'm not really there yet.

There's been so much disappointment. The media, which somehow manages to harp on Biden's health issues for weeks and months and yet doesn't clearly lay out the dangers Trump poses. The Supreme Court, Congress, wealthy tech bros and wealthy people in general. All the powers-that-be that enable this... whether actively aiding and abetting or passively hunkering down.

Black is white, and white is black, and who knows where we'll be in another year? In three?

Still, better to speak out and say something now, then be another free rider.

Monday, June 2, 2025

Hypernormalization

 I read an article that captured my current feelings all too well. This strange feeling where the news, social media, and almost everything online shows an ongoing dumpster fire...

And yet my day to day life is pretty bland and normal. And not just that, but (as the article also mentions) -

...the institutions and the people that are in power just are like ignoring it and are pretending like everything is going to go on the way that it has

It is definitely a surreal feeling, especially when everyone seems willing to ignore things that I had previously thought were impossible to ignore.

Like all that classified material that had been found in Trump's bathroom, which was dismissed so carelessly.

The media could harp on Hillary for months, is still harping on Biden's health... and when it comes to something like this, all we hear is crickets.

Which isn't exactly a surprise anymore, since the same thing happened with Jan 6. It only seems to take a couple of days before what should have been a bipartisan and uniting moment of horror at the damage done and support for America (and the Constitution) somehow just got quietly ignored. 

Oh, a fig leaf was given to allow people to pretend that what happened wasn't really all that bad. "Protest that got out of hand" or whatever convenient excuse was made to allow people to pretend that there was nothing different or unusual or somehow threatening the Constitution.

It's that disconnect... that cognitive dissonance...

That I keep struggling with, even as it makes me tired and upset and I try to get a break I keep coming back to it. Like wiggling a loose tooth.

Part of me feels a little silly that I find this so hard to understand. I mean, I've talked before about how I had an entire college level course that discussed how hard it was for people to be logical!!! The fallacies, the pattern-recognition that makes it hard for us to truly think logically, the heuristics...

The emotional anecdotes, which are very powerful.

As they mentioned - you could do all your research on what the best car to buy is, but as soon as someone you know tells you that they had a bad experience with particular make and model? You're probably not going to buy it, no matter how much the research shows that was probably an outlier.

I know this, I've known it for a very long time.

And yet I'm still shocked and surprised. 

I think, looking back, that I thought it would be different when it really mattered. That ofc people would be illogical and swayed by emotions and anecdotes when it comes to something like buying a car, but surely when it comes to something as important as our Constitution and the entire nation... people would do their research? 

I've done it myself, to the point where frankly I don't trust anything on facebook unless I've doublechecked it. Because you get some cute little meme and it conforms to all your biases and prejudices and it just plain sounds true (or fake), but is it really?

It's part of why I looked up tariffs, even though I was pretty sure from my previous economic education that I knew tariffs would end up making prices rise for consumers. It's just that Trump was so unashamedly willing to claim that there was no impact, so I figured I'd at least double check.

Well... that was a bit unusual, because most of the time it's not even worth checking anything he says. It's almost always a lie.

Which gets back to the next frustrating bit - which is that nobody ever seems to call him on that!

Did Mexico ever pay for the wall? The wall that Trump promised to build?

Does anyone even care any more?

It's quite clear that Trump has 'won' by pushing everyone's emotional buttons.

Even worse, it's so ham-handed and obvious that it's hard to believe anyone falls for it!

Illegal aliens eating dogs? Really?!? You really believe that?

I've complained before about how he makes everyone smaller. Uglier. Pettier.

Fearful.

He brings out the worst in people, and it boggles my mind that people support him for it.

And yet...

Institutions and people in power just ignore it, and act like it's just some grand new tactic in typical political games. 

It's like we used to have the Cardinals play the Cubs, and referees would make the call whenever something was questionable.

Now someone is paying off the referees or putting someone from their team in the referee position, and everyone watching the game is just cheering on like normal and ignoring the increasing frequency of moments where someone steals a base and the other team claims they had tagged them out, and instead of replaying the cameras and getting at the truth it just turns into a fight for who can get the referee to make the call that benefits their team the most.

And newspapers write glowing articles about what a great strategy it was, and questions how the other team is going to counter the manipulation of the referees.



Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Article on DOGE

https://donmoynihan.substack.com/p/what-doge-gets-wrong-about-tech-and

Saturday, May 10, 2025

The Goal

 I talked about people follow their programming, and how some of the time some of us are more alert, awake, and aware than at others.

Which brings me back to the goal - helping people be more conscious of their choices, so that they are free to choose who they want to be.

This all sounds simpler in my head, or rather it feels obvious. Now that I'm trying to write about it, though, it's not so easy.

Let's start with conscious choice. That means I don't want to trick people into doing what I think is best. I want them to be aware of their own mind, their own wants and needs, so that they can choose what they think is best.

Which is not to say I don't have my own thoughts or preferences. Rather, it gets back to my personal distinction between persuasion and manipulation.

I can talk all I want about what I think is best, try to come up with logical arguments (and perhaps not so logical) but at the end of the day the other person always has a choice. That's persuasion.

Once you start trying to ensure the other person can only make the choice you want them to, that's when it gets into manipulation. Trying to hide alternatives? Cover up information that doesn't suit your goals? Make them feel afraid and defensive? Lie about your own motives?

Those are all tactics of someone who is afraid that the other person won't choose 'correctly' on their own. You don't trust them to choose the way you want them to on their own, and you're trying to control them so you can force them to make that choice anyway.

And the thing of it is, manipulation might seem to work for a time, but I think in the long run it will always fail. Like car salespeople - the ones who manipulate people into buying cars they don't really want (or that are lemons that don't really work like they should) may make a sale... but their customers are not likely to be repeat customers, nor are they likely to encourage their friends and family to use that salesperson for their next car purchase.

The salespeople who are honest and straightforward with their customers tend to do better in the long run.

That conscious choice also should be free from fear, because people don't really think straight when they're afraid. This is part of why interrogators have a 'fear up' approach. And it also applies to making people afraid by lying about immigrants eating dogs, or the level of crime among immigrants, or the level of crime in general.

That dissonance between the actual crime rates and the perception of crime? Yeah... that's some basic political manipulation going on, and it really annoys me that making people afraid like that has been 'working', if by 'working' you mean that the people doing so have won elections.

In addition, conscious choice means working to fix any cognitive dissonance. That gap between what you say and what you do? That's generally a sign that you're not fully aware, and it's hard to make good choices.

Shadow policies? Where a company says they oppose bullying and sexual harassment, but don't actually address it when employees bring such issues forward? That's cognitive dissonance on an organizational scale, and getting angry at the employees who step forward just exacerbates the issue.

Which is not to say that you have to respond in any particular way. This is all about how people think and organizations decide, it's not telling them what to do when faced with cognitive dissonance, fear, or any of these other things I'm pointing out as signs that people aren't consciously making choices.

And that's because my belief is that when people are free from manipulation, are unafraid, and are fully aware and in control of themselves, that we all benefit.

That God didn't make life a zero-sum game, and the choices other people would make when they're fully free to do so are no threat to me, but rather will make it easier for us to find a win-win.

Everything that gets in the way of that - the fear mongering, the cognitive dissonance, the reality manipulation and attempts to discredit anything you don't want to hear?

Those all are unnecessary, and just make everything harder than it has to be.


Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Woke

 In my previous post I implied that most people were following their programming... but it's not really as simple as that.

It's more like - sometimes we're more alert than at others. Myself included. There are times we go on auto-pilot, for example. Like when you drive home and realized you spaced out and don't even remember the drive.

At other times, well. That's what all the stuff about mindfulness is about, right? If you meditate, concentrate, you can bring yourself more fully in the moment. You could almost say that sometimes people are sleepwalking through life, and at other times we are...

Woke.

Yes, I know that term has become politicized and given negative connotations. I'm not even necessarily using it in the way people think, except I think in some ways my usage is closer to the original meaning. That when we are aware, and focused, and can sit and think about our history and how we've treated minorities over decades, that the ones who can listen and respond without that reflexive defensiveness are woke.

Of course, that sleepwalking? When most everyone around you is acting like that, the ones who are awake can be a bit like Jonathon in The Mummy.


As for the right wing trolls that try to get a rise out of people... rather than trying to blend in like Jonathan does here, it's more like they're looking at these sleepwalkers and deliberately pushing a big red button that triggers their defenses.

Except I don't think many of them are doing it because they're any more awake then the ones they're observing. It's more like they've reprogrammed themselves... like they're playing a game where they get more points the more times they hit someone's button.

I do wonder about Trump though. See, the sleepwalkers tend to just follow social norms. Those invisible rules that surround us all, and they seem to do it just because that's how it's done. That's what they learned to do, without really any thought behind it.

The way he ignores all those norms and conventions?

I can't tell if that's because he's more awake - but malicious - or if he's just programmed like some of those right wing trolls. 

Again with the question - deliberate malevolence? Or just malevolent programming?

But let's bring this back to the sleepwalkers with the big red buttons.

I would say that a large part of what I do is try to find ways of... Idk. Kindly trying to wake people up? Gently? To bring things to their conscious awareness without triggering the big red button.

Which is part of why I found leadership positions exhausting, at times. It's a lot of work to carefully think about what to say, so that you can get the point across without triggering an automatic defense. You have to think about all that stuff they say, about using 'I' words and avoiding accusatory 'you' statements.

Also part of why I'm picky about who I would date. I don't want to have to constantly watch how I say something in order to make sure that they don't take it the wrong way. Once in a while is fine. We all have that big red button and we all have things that will make us feel defensive. It just... shouldn't be to such a degree that you can't talk about the things that bother you. 

If something is bothering you and you feel like you can't bring it up, you're forced to either constantly suppress the issue (which, especially with people sleepwalking through life, rarely works and just means whatever it is tends to come out at the worst times and in the worst ways) or you end up bringing it up and having them react predictably badly and then the relationship is damaged. Neither is very good, and certainly not the way I'd want to build a relationship with someone I hoped would be a life partner and helpmate.

(This is not to say you have to be cruel or demanding or always tell them negative things. It's just that if it bothers you enough that you can't really let it go, then you should be able to bring it up in a way that gets it addressed. Whatever it is. 'Addressed' doesn't mean they have to do what you want, but they have to show they heard and are willing to work towards some sort of solution that lets both of you be okay.)

You could say the same for the Americans who've suffered due to racism and other mistakes. Honestly, we probably don't deserve black Americans and other minorities for their willingness to overlook so many slights and other infuriating behaviors.


Tuesday, May 6, 2025

Russian Misinformation

Saw this post about Storm-1516 discussing Russian disinformation activities, and it reminded me of a loosely related point. 

A while back I'd been reading about Russia and Putin's rise to power, and it was talking about how the KGB (or their successor org, I forget the exact details) blamed the west for the collapse of the USSR and essentially started to hide resources to fund efforts to continue fighting the West. (Which is part of we why it's so hard to tell if anything done in Russia is done by criminals, the government, a business - or generally a blend of all three).

Anyways, at the time I found myself wondering - if they hadn't misdirected so much of money, would the dissolution of the USSR have been so painful? 

It reminds me of a story I had heard, which supposedly illustrates a common Russian mindset, though I don't know enough to say whether that's true or not. Basically a man was jealous of his neighbor, because his neighbor had more goats than he did. So given the chance to make a wish - rather than wish he had as many (or more) goats, he wished for his neighbor's goats to die. 

Anyways, I can't imagine all those troll farms and disinformation campaigns are cheap. Well, who knows? It's not like I can find a breakdown of their budget. 

But I do have to wonder - how different would it be if they'd spent that money in Russia? 

Monday, May 5, 2025

Trust

 Something I read asked about trusting other people. Our brothers and sisters... and as I thought about it, about whether I trust people, I find myself thinking the answer is - 

No.

That's overly simplistic, of course. I don't think that people are inherently dishonest or untrustworthy, actually. So this post is about feeling out my thoughts on the matter in order to clarify that.

What I trust is that people will be... people. That they will be true to themselves, really.

But what does that even mean?

It's like... people often follow patterns without thinking. Almost robotic, as though they were a program. If you know their history, nature and nurture, what the inputs are, they will generally respond in predictable ways.

That is not always the case. I do believe in free will, and that people can change or rise above their pasts. I just don't think many people exercise that free will.

To give an example - when confronted by something that feels like an attack (criticism, failure, or something just not going 'right' the way they expect) most people will get defensive. And perhaps even lash back.

If you put it in a martial arts context - if someone throws a punch, most people will punch back. 

There's a whole lot of other options, of course. Turning the incoming punch into a judo throw by stepping in and aiding and directing the momentum. Stepping aside so it misses. Blocking. And so on and so forth...

But most people don't really learn how to control their responses and deliberately choose one. They perceive an attack, they punch back.

Of course, not all of those 'attacks' are true attacks. Sometimes it's just feedback they don't want to hear. And I like to think it's better, if you have the time, to perhaps sit with it. Just think of what happened, how you feel about it, and what your options are... and then choose the one that best gets you where you want to be.

Most people don't really bother, imho.

So you see something like Facebook, right? And they get criticism, and it feels like an attack, so they get defensive and want to punch back.

Something similar happens (or is perhaps exacerbated) when you feel your livelihood is threatened. Your status, your income... of course people who benefit from something like oil will get defensive when told that their entire livelihood puts the world at risk. 

In an ideal world, of course, they might initial believe such claims are false and dismiss them... but as the evidence mounts, and especially when a scientific consensus forms, they would reevaluate that and act accordingly.

But we all know that that hasn't happened. For the most part, at least. Even if (if they had accepted it and acted accordingly) they might have managed to shift everything so that they no longer depended on oil for their status and livelihood, or even worked to ensure a smooth transition.

No, it's more natural to double down and work to block anything that threatens that.

Same with control... anything that appears to threaten their ability to control something comes across as an attack, and a threat. Even though things would be better (and not just for the ones they are trying to control!) if they learned to monitor that sort of instinctive response and choose better responses. 

After all, while you may not have direct control if you come across as supporting people in their own goals you can often have more influence than if you're perceived as a threat right back.

Learning to listen and enable other people in the pursuit of their goals is better, imho, then having control and using it to steamroll over what they want.

I don't like to pick a political party because most of the time the extreme partisans appear as little more than programmed robots. You say your party supports or opposes something, and the partisans follow along like lemmings without really giving it any thought.

And you lose all that complexity, all the grey areas, all the potential for alternatives. It all becomes black and white, your side is good and the other side is evil, and in the process you demonize the other side and justify whatever your side does.

Reflexively

Without really even thinking about it.

And if you aren't careful, you learn to dismiss any argument that doesn't support what your side is pushing. Ignore any criticism. And then you start forming a bubble, where all you hear and see are the things that reinforce what your side wants.

I don't generally think either side is evil or bad (except for the cynical manipulators who know they're lying for political purposes. It's one thing to honestly believe the science was bad, and another to know and accept they're telling the truth and still propose policies and push influence campaigns to block any potential solution. Especially when it's coupled with callousness and an 'I got mine, how you do?' attitude. Though evil sometimes sounds overly harsh and judgmental, even if the end results sure seem evil.)

So in that sense - I don't trust people to evaluate a situation with an open-mind and make wise choices. I don't trust them to get past what appears to benefit themselves the most, especially when fear or hope are affecting their thought processes.

And I don't trust that they will hear criticism and use that to improve something.

Which does make it really, really, really hard to fix anything.

Take all the talk about 'woke' politics and DEI and all the crap the Trump administration is doing. 

They are trying to cover up the bad things in our history, and act as though even mentioning them is an attack.

Except - those things did actually happen. The Tulsa race massacre happened. Sundown towns were a real thing. 

Our history is incomplete when we pretend otherwise, in ways that have a real and horrible impact on people who are still not treated like real Americans today.

Saying so feels like an attack to certain people, though. So rather than sitting with it, thinking about it, and learning how to handle it in ways that will let us do better... we get Trump targeting Smithsonian programs to block any sort of discussion on those topics, and claim that the Smithsonian is the one that is divisive and rewriting history.

They remove pictures of American service members who earned medals, simply because they are black.

It's things like this that lead to discussion on 'white fragility' and 'toxic masculinity'... because how can we ever address racism or live up to the ideals mentioned in our founding documents if we can't even discuss our failures without leading to bs like that???

So do I think people are generally bad, or liars, or anything like that? No.

But I don't trust them to act logically, or respond to criticism well, or to know how to get past their own programming.

Well, that's not quite true.

People can 'get past their own programming' if they have certain types of life experiences. I mean, obviously people do. Sometimes. 

It's just that there's no fast and hard rule about when and how it happens, and some of those experiences are arguably just replacing their programming with something else rather than helping them learn to consciously choose their own.

After all, to people who want a specific result and have the power to force the outcome, conscious choice appears to threaten that outcome too. If people are consciously choosing, you can't manipulate them and force them to choose what you want. You have to offer your arguments and hope they're persuasive enough on their own.


Friday, May 2, 2025

Jotting Down a Thought

Read more of the book... Perhaps I was too kind in my assessment yesterday. 

Anyways, it gave me an idea for something... But ofc I don't think I'd have the interest, resources, or time to really develop it. I just was thinking about what sorts of alternatives to Facebook would be possible. 

It'd probably have to be some sort of subscription service too, if only to avoid the worst excesses that come when your business model is more about using knowledge gathered from people to make your profit. 

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Odd Thoughts on the World Today

 I picked the book Careless People back up again (between the death of my brother's fiancee, job hunting, and various other things I'd stopped reading it for a while) and it reminded me of some thoughts I'd had a while back.

Namely - that not everyone has the same background in my fields of interest.

I know, I know... that's sort of a 'well, duh!' statement. Bear with me.

I remember first thinking about this when recalling my experience with some of my fellow officers in the Army. 

Actually, thinking even further on this - the military offers actual leadership training, in a way I don't think many people get any more. That's where I first heard 'leadership is an art and a science', after all. And my ROTC commander was the one that encouraged us to read business management books, like the One Minute Manager. 

I'll admit that I didn't initially see the connection between business management resources and the military, but both deal with people, so there's some overlap. (And actually, there are multiple reading lists for junior officers, and the reading choices are not just about military history. Oh... my first battalion commander gave us an assignment to read one and write a book report, and I got a very positive comment on mine. I think I did it on Embattled Courage? I probably still have the report somewhere, but I'm not going to dig through my old records to find it.)

Anyways. The point was that people have different backgrounds, and things that I considered obvious and well known are... not. At least, not to someone who didn't have the same schooling.

Which I think about, with regards to Careless People, because I have had a life long interest in decision making and public policy and so on and so forth... and while I won't say these people are actually dumb, it's quite clear that their backgrounds did not include any of that. My impression is that most of it was all tech related, maybe business management related, but they were really not the ones to grapple with how tech effects society. At least, not initially.

Which, well... I get that it's the company you created, and of course you want to be involved in how it grows, but I can't help thinking that if you really dislike all that boring policy and people stuff that maybe you ought to reconsider being the CEO? Find someone who actually wants to do what the job requires? 

Well, that's neither here nor there. It really seems like people who didn't have the background to understand - Idk how to describe it, but people in general? The social sciences? It's not just about politics or public policy after all, it's all those fuzzy things that don't have neat and clear solutions - they just sort of stumbled into a situation that required skills and understanding that they just didn't have.

Which, well... okay. I would have hoped for and expected some sort of due diligence and attempt to learn that, but whatever. I also would have expected better from the one guy who really was involved with politics, but honestly if that's what Harvard is turning out these days then you probably could have just pulled some random person off the street and the same knowledge level. But then again, people go to those schools more for the connections and networking, don't they? (Yet another reason why I won't call them 'elite'. Or maybe just 'elite at networking' or something.)

So they stumbled into a situation that a tech and business background wasn't really enough to address, and instead of really sitting and thinking about it the responses were more reactionary. 

Just... dealing with situations as they developed, which meant sometimes being pushed into making policy decisions on the fly. 

And then Facebook became the influential force we all acknowledge it is today, but by that point the initial reactionary responses and the natural tendency to resent being told what to do came into play (even if the pressure to regulate, especially with dissatisfaction overwidespread misinformation, was entirely predictable and probably could have been handled earlier if people had sat down and really thought about this. With the right people, of course.)

Furthermore, as I've said before, this seems like just a snapshot of what the wider 1% is like... and that's discouraging.

Yesterday I talked about how wise monarchs were rarely followed by similarly wise successors. I think part of the problem is that we aren't all that great at passing along wisdom. In game theory, they talked about how copy mistakes meant that in an ongoing game of competing strategies where a successful strategy was copied... sometimes it didn't get copied exactly the same, and that would change how things played out.

I think passing along wisdom is kind of like that. The successor may copy parts of their predecessor's strategy but never the whole of it. Which is also probably why we sometimes get a wise ruler after one that was less so... it's not always one way of course.

Anyways, the point is that it seems obvious the wisdom of earlier Americans (and the most powerful of them) have clearly not been passed along to the current era.

Separation of church and state is one of the big ones. These white christian nationalists don't seem to care about how ugly it gets whenever that is ignored. Do they really have reason to believe it'll be different this time?

Not that it'd be okay even if they had, since they'd be disregarding the faiths of all the non-christian Americans, as well as atheists. I've got nothing against people of faith practicing in their private lives, but you would think a religion in which we are told 

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."

 Matthew 6:5-6

And 

“[God] … shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing.  So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt.”

Deuteronomy 10:18-19 

And when the Samaritans were a distinct ethnic group that grew alongside Judaism and we have an entire parable about how the Samaritan who had mercy on a man who had been mugged and left for dead was a better role model than the priest who avoided him because he wanted to avoid having to do all that ritual cleansing for touching a dead body (or perhaps fear that it was a trap and he'd be mugged as well). Point was, the Bible itself tells us to love our neighbors, that those neighbors can be foreign or different, and that it's more important to care for each other than to get bogged down with other details.

Ahem.

Right, white christian nationalists are only one part of the problem. There's also what seems like a very childish and juvenile level of partisanship, which cares more about putting one over on the other political party than about governing. And after our Founding Fathers wrote all that stuff about the evils of partisanship!

It's very frustrating to see people with the power to truly make a difference - and then they just absolutely waste it making things worse.

Seems like they don't deserve all those rewards our system gives them.


Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Interesting Article

This seems a bit relevant to yesterday's post

https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/03/28/daniel-dennett-rapoport-rules-criticism/

Tuesday, April 29, 2025

Decision Making, Feedback, and Democracy

 I'm pretty sure I've previously mentioned the points I'm about to make, I'm just not so sure I put them together in this order and explicitly drawn the connections between them.

 How a group of people make decisions is pretty important to me, particularly so we can avoid failures from groupthink, and more importantly - get the positive synergies that come from bringing a bunch of people together. (As opposed to negative synergies. Both are entirely possible, and deliberately achieving a positive one is more of an art than a science.)

So let's illustrate this with one of my preferred examples:

You and your forces are trying to defend a location near a mountain range. The approaching enemy has only two options to pass through the mountains and reach your location - a wide and pretty obvious pass, and a narrow and more difficult pass.

You may choose to set your defenses up along either pass, but if the enemy doesn't do what you expect then it can leave you vulnerable. 

If they choose to take the unexpected route and you expected them to come through the main pass, all your defenses may be set in the wrong location and they may surprise you and hit you from the side. 

If you instead focus on the smaller pass, then the enemy may easily and quickly come through the main pass.

In the course of analyzing your options, you may decide a couple of things.

1) Set up some method of watching both passes, so that you can determine which way they are coming and shift your forces accordingly. (An intelligence collection plan, basically).

2) Set your forces so that you can easily shift to cover either pass. I.e. maybe you set up your main forces faces the big pass, but you still set a small force near the smaller pass, and you place other forces close enough that they can support either location depending on which route the enemy takes.

And so on, and so forth. 

This later plan is more complicated of course, but it's also more robust and resilient and helps make sure that you're ready no matter which way the enemy comes. Hopefully.

Obviously this is better than having someone decide the enemy is going to do one specific thing, and then setting up only for that thing. First of all because your plan only will work if the enemy plays along. Also because it indicates an unwillingness to thoroughly explore the possibilities, which may or may not work out for you in this specific instance, but eventually will lead to you making a mistake. You will overlook something, and nobody will notice until it bites you in the butt.

Also, going back to positive and negative synergies, you and/or your team may easily get into pissing contests as you debate which course of action is best, and then people's egos get involved, and then they stop really focusing on the problem at hand and start focusing on defeating their own internal 'enemies'. That is, if someone argues the enemy is going to come down the main pass and someone else just as vehemently argues that they'll come down the smaller pass, it's entirely likely they will lock up all the time and energy arguing over this and then whichever plan chosen is the 'winner' of the argument, and they never bother considering how to make a more robust and resilient plan in the first place. 

Whether they're right or wrong in that specific instance is, in some ways, less important than that the decision making process is corrupted and politicized and leads to outcomes that aren't actually all that good but are the result of internal politics.

In a more extreme case, you could even picture someone who firmly believes they're right dismissing the signs and signals they're wrong. As in, if they bother with an intelligence collection plan like I mentioned above, and have some sort of monitoring going on for both passes - they will dismiss the signs that the enemy is going through the other pass. If the sensors are the kind that can just tell that bodies are passing through, but may be triggered by animals - they may argue that it was just deer or mountain goats passing through. 

The desire to prove you were right grows more important than actually paying attention to the signals in front of you.

But those are all mayhaps and maybes. People are unique (despite some similarities), and every time you throw a bunch of people together you will get unique combinations and permutations. The robust and resilient plan I mentioned above?

It is possible that one wise and experienced commander could come up with it on their own.

It's also possible that they're completely incompetent, but they have a wise and experienced subordinate that they're willing to listen to, and the group as a whole still comes up with a good plan.

Or it could be that they had a good brainstorming session, that the intel staff present it's three possible enemy courses of action (most likely, most dangerous, etc) and the operations folk and intel folk and all the other members of the staff work together to create that more robust and resilient plan.

What I dislike about the first two options is that they depend on one particularly wise person. First, it's never good to depend entirely on one person because if they get removed then everyone else is screwed. In war, especially, that's a bad idea since you never know when someone might get killed or injured or captured or some other thing that takes that critical person away at a critical time. It's much better to make sure you train your people right, have that leadership pipeline in place, and make sure that as many as possible have the skills you need.

Second - no one person can know everything. Plus we all have our blindspots and biases. It's better to have a group that learns how to cover for those gaps, systemically, regularly, and consistently.

Maybe at the lower level someone can master an area of expertise and not need to rely on others, but the more complicated the issue or the higher you rise, the more you will depend on other people to be the experts you need.

Even in the tech world - perhaps you're a master programmer, great at coding anything and everything.

If you get into a management position, pretty soon you will not have the time to code much. Instead, you will be managing the people under you - and they will be the ones coding.

And the thing is, skills like that are use or lose. (This is part of why the military spends so much time training. It's not like you can teach them how to fire a gun once and expect them to be ready when they go into combat. You have to do it often enough to actually retain the skills.) Going back to a techie person - they may still have skills, but it's a lot harder for them to stay up to date. Plus if some newer language starts gaining traction, or some other tech takes off? They have to put a LOT of effort into staying up to date.

Of course, most of my focus was more on issues like national security and public policy, and the issues that we struggle with there tend to be complex and wicked.

If I were to picture my ideal way of handling those, it would be to get a group of relevant experts (i.e. economists, business people, at least one person to represent the average American, and so on and so forth.)  Said experts would depend on what exactly the issue being tackled is (i.e. if it's healthcare related you might need more healthcare professionals, and if it's military related you'll need the relevant armed forces represented), and would ideally have a cross section of political positions and socio-economic status.

The point is to make sure it's not all a group of people that think the same way and basically rubberstamp a decision without really reviewing it.

And you'd use some of the various tools in the kit bag for making sure the group works together productively, rather than devolving into ego battles.

Sometimes that might mean making sure they meet without the pressure of their bosses. Or maybe it means cutting in when people start pointing fingers or getting overly personal. Maybe it means breaking the ice with a question, not so much because you really need it answered, but because some of the less confident people won't speak up until someone else does it first. 

There's too many possibilities, all of which depend on the people involved and their own skills. (I personally like to think I help any team I'm part of, not just because of whatever I'm hired for, but because sometimes asking the right question at the right time or bringing people back to a more task-focused mentality can bring out those positive synergies and help the team perform better as a whole... but that's all fuzzy stuff that's really, really, really hard to capture on a resume or explain in an interview.)

And now, to tie this all in with something else - our Constitution, democracy, and decision making as a nation.

As I mentioned in my scenario above, it's true that a particularly wise and experienced individual can lead to good decisions. But historically?

We've been pretty terrible about consistently putting such individuals in charge.

That's part of why we've shifted away from monarchs, I think.

Sure, you might get a particularly wise one... and then their son or daughter is average, and their grandson or granddaughter is a disaster.

Our system has its own issues - mostly, I think, that negative synergy I mentioned. People get caught up in their own egos, they get focused on being 'right' and 'winning' and lose sight of their real goals and purpose (i.e. whether the enemy comes from the main pass or the side pass, everyone wants to defeat them... unless you're a spy or saboteur or traitor of course. In the same way, whether you're Republican or Democrat I would expect that you want the United States to be healthy and strong, and that you just disagree on what would make that happen. Unless you're a spy or a saboteur or a traitor, and there's definitely been conspiracy theories going around that some of them are exactly that.)

But on a meta scale? Not focusing on the issues of the day, but looking at how our nations make decisions as a whole?

Well... 

Nations, as a whole, have a tendency to get stuck and stagnate... and it's often because some group of people gain control over the levers of power and manage to block any changes they dislike.

I, like many people I think, used to believe that democracy prevented that sort of problem. That regular elections provided a systemic way of getting feedback and ensuring we had legitimate processes of change.

That any such change might be difficult, naturally. But it was possible. And without needing to violently overthrow people like the French Revolution, without an upheaval like so many other nations have had. 

We could resolve them with votes.

Except...

Remember those studies showing that the preferences of the average American have little impact on policy?

... Yeah

That feedback mechanism is broken. We don't have government by the people, for the people, and of the people.

Not really.

I think that's part of why Trump happened, tbh. People are fed up with both parties because they're really not responsive to the average American any more.

I just wish they hadn't chosen someone who clearly wasn't going to do what he'd promised in that regard, but I don't want to get diverted onto that topic right now.

See, it's easy for the powers-that-be to believe that they know better, to believe that the general public is too dumb to really matter, and to think it's better for everyone if they gain control....

But that is a lie. 

Or rather, it's like that point in a chess game where the decision you make will inevitably lead to checkmate.

Because generally the way that they gain control and diminish the power of the general public is by concentrating all the decision making and power into the hands of the 'trusted' few - who think exactly like they do.

In other words, it's centralizing and consolidating power and creating more authoritarian systems. 

It makes them more fragile and less resilient, too.

It might work if the ones doing so are particularly wise and experienced. 

Maybe.

Possibly.

But only if that 'wisdom' involves knowing how to create those decision making systems with positive synergy like I discussed above. I.e. someone who is able to bring experts in from all over. Who can ensure they have productive discussions that actually result in solid solutions, and then have the experience and skill to implement those solutions well.

It definitely isn't going to come from the people leading today's polarization. Not unless they go through some serious life changes, I think.

Oh...

And it definitely won't come when people are more concerned with manipulating data to support their politics, rather than actually caring about the truth.

If your response to scientists telling you something you don't want to hear is to decide that they're all part of some conspiracy, and then to go cherry pick someone with nominal credentials to support your belief?

You're more concerned with proving yourself right than with actually being right, and any decision-making you attempt is corrupted by that. Just like the ones trying to disregard signs that the enemy was coming through the other pass in my example earlier.

I do not know when that will come back to haunt you, I just know that eventually it will.



Friday, April 25, 2025

Musings

 I think I mentioned that I had stepped back to think a bit, this past week or two.

Doing so is important, I think. So much of our time is spent just getting by - go to work, get home. Fix dinner. Relax for a bit, sleep, then do it all again the next day. 

Try to fit in friends, family, house cleaning...

When do people have time to really just sit and think?

In some ways, that's what I liked about the church retreats when I was a child. Or camping. It's good to step away from it all for a bit. 

There are things that get pushed down and unnoticed, that in a moment of quiet will draw your attention.

Resolving those things is.... hmmmm. I think it helps us have integrity. In that sense of being whole and undivided.

But there's a danger to it, too.

Well, I wouldn't call it danger, really. I think being whole and undivided is a good thing. It's just that when people really have the time to sense and deal with those quiet moments, it can become the impetus for major change.

I think if people don't periodically have such moments, that that's how you wind up ten or twenty years down the road suddenly realizing you aren't where or who you want to be, and suddenly have a mid-life crisis or one of those moments people make movies out of where people make drastic changes to their life.

Better to just... pay attention to yourself, and figure it out before you've wasted a good decade or two on something you don't really enjoy.

Of course, modern life doesn't make it easy. 

Especially if people truly do believe... what was that comment? That people have to be afraid? That if nobody was worried about needing food or paying the bills that somehow the economy would ground to a halt? (I think this is bullshit, personally. And if it isn't, then what does that say about the system in the first place? That it's basically built on fear, which is probably why it's so shitty anyway. But it's the kind of idea that lets the powers-that-be proudly pat themselves on the back and claim that the system they benefit by is good and right and that really all those complaints are just from lazy, jealous, and whiny people. Not like them.)

Really, if I were religious and wanted to somehow create a more godly society, making sure that everyone had the time and space for those quiet moments would be a large part of that. None of this 'controlling everyone for their own good' bs - if the sentiments about motivational fear or the dangers of making higher education too accessible represent real beliefs - is a sure sign of a system driven by fear, and about as far from godly as you can get.

But let's bring this back to my own current circumstances, wherein I am job hunting. And perhaps what I want isn't really to be a bug bounty hunter. Perhaps it's more as a SOC Analyst and eventually threat hunter. I admit those sound fun and interesting, and I really wish I had the money to do a whole bunch of those SANS courses because I'd love to learn. Alas, I think those are so high-priced you pretty much need to be independently wealthy or have your company pay for it, and that leads to the inevitable 'prove you have the skills before we hire you and then support you in getting the skills' issue. 

But even that is... a bit of distraction really. Because cybersecurity was just one part of the national affairs and government policy making. I've been so focused on my computer science background these days that I haven't really been dwelling on political science, history, etc. 

Except that, as I watch story after story of Trump and his wrecking crew, I can't help but feel angry. He's destroying everything that made America good. Destroying the rule of law, demolishing the protections built into the Constitution...

I don't want to get into (yet another) rant on this, because the ones who see it already know and the ones who don't?

I have no idea how to reach. It's a very disturbing time to be alive, and I don't want to be so focused on securing my own immediate employment that I ignore everything they are doing right now.

But...

What can I do, really?

Or rather, I can do the usual. Say my thoughts, participate in protests maybe. Vote when it matters. 

And for some blasted reason I keep thinking back to events that happened almost two decades ago, now.

I try not to dwell on that time, because it's really crazy-making. 

It still is.

Thinking that posts like these might actually matter. Except if they did, I would expect some sort of feedback. Some sort of interaction. Something real. So that it didn't feel like it was all in my head, or that I was just posting into the black hole of obscurity so many people find on the internet.

Tbh that's part of why I stopped posting as much. I still do for some things. It's great for digging deeper into some ideas, or sort of noting down things I find interesting.

But it's too easy to slip into the notion that I'm writing for an audience, and then to start imaging what I would want to say to that invisible audience, and next thing you know I'm plotting out posts in my head instead of doing the things I need to do.

Like put another blasted job application in. Or study more about sql injection, or other hacking techniques.

Whatever. I can't afford to spend that sort of time on something that just distracts me from making a living, and it's better not to pretend there's any real sort of interaction going on when there isn't.

Well, I've got a bit of time to muddle about. Hopefully I'll figure things out and everything will resolve themselves well. And soon.

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

smh

This article captures one of the more horrifying aspects of our current times - the fear that makes people reconsider perfectly legal and normal behavior. 

https://radleybalko.substack.com/p/the-courage-to-be-decent

Very Serious People, Cont.

 While writing the previous post, it made me realize part of what I find so frustrating about -  waves hand -- everything.

Too many of the powers-that-be seem so cavalier about everything. 

In the example I gave before, I mentioned that if someone making dumbass statements was ever actually in the position to do what they casually said, that I would expect them to sit back and think about it.

There is... a weight to being in charge. We talk about the burden of command because the person giving the orders that leads to someone's death does bear a burden.

Should bear a burden. 

You can't not give the order, not if it's truly needed. But it should not be done lightly or casually, because you are spending people's lives when you do. 

There's a trust that should be there. Your people know and trust that you're not spending their lives wastefully, that the mission you give them is one that needs doing, in pursuit of something they support. If you have a voluntary military (like we currently do), then your duty isn't to prevent them from ever facing harm or risk, it's to make sure that when they do take those risks, that it's done for a good reason.

There's a gravity there, and honestly anyone giving orders who doesn't feel it shouldn't be in that position in the first place.

They don't feel the weight of responsibility enough, and are likely to get people killed wastefully and unnecessarily. And might not even learn their lessons in the process.

And that doesn't just apply to the men and women serving this country. Every. Single. Elected. Official. was elected to serve the American people.

They have obligations and duties to us, which I personally think they have failed miserably at, but whatever. Part of the reason so many politicians act as Very Serious People is that they are acknowledging that weight, that duty.

And then we get these clowns who act like it's all a joke, as if politics is just like a game. Support your team, badmouth the other side, and when it's all over you can just go home and go back to your normal life.

I do get the frustration with said people. Just because the put on a serious face doesn't mean they've actually been living up to their responsibilities, and we've had issues going on for quite a while now.

Too many of those Very Serious People seem like bureaucrats and other hidebound types, more focused on the rules and following and enforcing them than they are on actually fixing anything. Or even seeing that something needs fixed in the first place.

It just seems like now we have the worst of both worlds - ruled by people who don't limit themselves to the rules and laws we've developed over the centuries, and also not bound by any sense of duty or obligation to the American people either.

Or maybe they've just convinced themselves that devolving like this is in the interest of the American people. It's so hard to tell whether it's cynical self interest or willful denial at play.

Monday, April 21, 2025

Very Serious People

 I like to read some of the stories that shed light on the inner workings of people in power. 

More than their political positions, I think it's their decision making process that helps me decide if I think someone will do well in office.

Part of that relates to something I've pondered before - is it better to have a perfect plan, executed imperfectly? Or an imperfect plan, executed perfectly?

I've come to conclude the latter is better, because part of executing a plan is to continuously evaluate your results and adjust the plan if needed. An imperfect plan, executed well, should still ultimately get to the desired result - whereas a 'perfect plan', executed poorly and without any feedback mechanism to adjust for failure, probably won't.

Plus seeing their decision making process helps identify what they value, since it often involves prioritizing one thing over another. (Like Trump prioritizing the appearance that covid was under control over the reality that it wasn't. That right there is a pretty big indicator about what he values - and that 'protecting the lives of average Americans' isn't one of them.)

Anyways.

I remember reading a bit about one of those internal discussions - not the recent one with Peter Hegseth, though the search for what I recall is being drowned out by that. It was some group chat with influential people, but what struck me was that some of the opinions expressed were...

Let's just say they weren't much different from some of the idiotic statements I've heard our enlisted grunts say.

And I was thinking about why it didn't much matter when Private Joe Schmoe said it, and yet it's pretty horrifying when someone with the connections to be in a chat like that does.

I think the difference comes down to two things - seriousness, and ability to make it happen.

When Private Joe Schmoe says that they wish they could just turn the entire middle east into glass- 

a) I suspect they'd hesitate and rethink that statement if they were ever actually in the position to do so. It's easy to say bullshit you can't actually make real, but knowing your decision would actually murder numerous men, women, and children? Many of whom are perfectly innocent? I expect they wouldn't actually follow through, and any who did would show a level of callousness and cruelty and a disrespect for the gravity of their choice that means they should never be in a position to make such a decision in the first place. 

b) They also aren't in a position to actually make it reality. If they ever were to achieve such a position, I'd hope they'd have gained the wisdom and maturity to know better.

Anyways... I use the term 'powers-that-be' instead of 'elites' or 'leaders' because 'powers-that-be' is just a statement of fact. It acknowledges that they have power and influence, but it doesn't credit those powers with being better than any of the rest of us. They aren't elite, and if they are leaders they aren't necessarily good ones.

And yet realizing that some of these 'powers' who are primarily connected and wealthy men are willing to spout off stupid comments that are just as ignorant as the dumbest joe?

Yeah... somehow I still expected better of them.

People feel disconnected and distrustful of the 'Very Serious People' because such people have learned to take the responsibilities of their positions seriously. So they learn to watch what they say, to be careful in expressing an opinion, and in the process they stop seeming authentic or passionate or real.

Some of that is inevitable. After all, as an officer in the Army it would be a Very. Bad. Thing. if I told my soldiers that I thought our battalion commander was ordering us to do something unnecessarily and foolishly risky. 

They may say that to each other, privately, but the minute an officer agrees? Suddenly it gives such complaints a certain legitimacy, and raises the specter of mutiny and sedition. (And the fact that Trump never tempered his speech, and instead deliberately and  repeatedly legitimized the lies about the 2020 election is part of why I think I can never forgive him for what he has done to this nation. He's the fucking President of the United States! And he has less self-control than junior officers do! If he honestly thought it was stolen, he should have waited until he had absolute proof or kept his mouth shut... and the repeatedly lost court cases showed he never had the proof, which he probably knew. And yet he still keeps saying that shit, undermining the legitimacy of what were our duly elected leaders, and in the process undermining the very Constitution he swore to defend! And he just doesn't care!)

Ahem.

But just because someone is 'authentic' doesn't mean they're better. After all, you can authentically be an asshole.

You can just as authentically be smart, caring, and passionate about things that don't require you to be an asshole at all.

Those 'powers-that-be', at least the ones that keep appearing in news report after news report in the past decade or so, seem to be remarkably ignorant and foolish...

Which then raises the question - why the hell are they where they are in the first place?

How did things get so bad, that such powerful and connected people are so unfit for their positions?

It's sort of like what people thought when we saw the golden parachutes for failed CEO's - we accept a certain amount of inequality, accept that some people get paid more than the rest... because the ones who are being paid so lavishly are supposed to have something more than the rest of us.

Those CEOs are supposed to have talents that the random person on the street doesn't.

But if they're going to fail, and still get ridiculous amounts of money? Well, hell... any of us can do that!

It basically shows, all over again, that we're not a meritocracy at all. And that these people making important decisions about our lives don't really deserve all the money and social acclaim they have.

I'm not saying they're dumb necessarily. But going back to that 'able to execute a plan well' bit?

They're knowledge and experience may not be suited to their positions, and while they don't necessarily have to be perfect right away, I would expect them to have those feedback mechanisms that would allow them to learn and grow and do better.

Instead, we have the current wrecking crew, and all the fools cheering them on.


Wednesday, April 16, 2025

Various Musings

 Got a few things floating around in the ol' noggin, so I figured I'd type them out here.

The last month has been... eventful.

Since losing my job I had gotten into a routine. Wake up, fix breakfast, work on some labs for Burp Suite and learn more about what's essentially hacking.

And then my brother's fiancee died.

She had been dealing with kidney disease the entire time I knew here. Was on dialysis. But she was on the list for a kidney transplant, had done that bariatric surgery to help her lose weight in preparation, and then in the last couple of months had been in and out of the hospital far too many times.

It had reminded the both of us far too much of when Mom was dealing with cancer, which is why they went ahead and set a wedding date. 

Not just because they wanted to get married, but also for the legal aspects (no FMLA for a live in girlfriend, but it would have been there for a wife) and so that he wouldn't essentially be a widower without the legal aspect.

We had thought we'd have longer... one of those hospital trips they had said her potassium was too low (something that had happend with Mom too, one of the times she wound up in a hospital) but the day my brother texted that they were using a crash cart she actually had too much potassium.

Anyways, he's a teacher and was on spring break last week, so in order to make sure he didn't have too much time alone I went up for the funeral and stuck around most of that week. Which disrupted my training routine, but was worth it.

Now I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, but...

Well.

I keep seeing all the articles in the news about the wrecking ball of our current administration, and I find myself thinking again about why and how I got where I am. And how I'd always been interested in public policy. About how much I had cared about this nation. And suddenly learning how to hack just... doesn't quite fit.

Except I still have to pay the bills. I mean, I'm good for now, but I will need to have some (hopefully stable) source of income before too long. And there were reasons I'd essentially stepped away from public policy.

Mostly the dawning realization that I'd probably need a whole lot of money to do the sorts of things I'd want to, and that I apparently am not so good at selling the idea of hiring me for anything like that as I would need to be.

Now? I don't know... I feel a bit adrift, and maybe typing things out here will help.

I still really like the idea of finding some way to financial freedom without being tied to yet another rigid bureaucracy. Making that work is the trick though. Sitting around waiting for a miracle to happen is just - not realistic. 

And I find myself thinking, at least somewhat, about the society we have made and how much it sucks.

Let's go back to what I was saying about fear. I've heard the belief, for example, that some people think we need people to be afraid of not being able to make ends meet in order to motivate them to do the jobs we need done.

I say bullshit. I don't know how many people truly believe it, or whether the powers-that-be really calculate things like that (and other things, too. Like deciding an educated population is a bad idea and making higher education more expensive, and various other things). It's possible? But feels a bit too much like believing there's some coordinated effort by wealthy men sitting around in smoke filled rooms deliberately choosing to make other people miserable just to maintain their power. Like - who is actually sitting in these rooms? Do they truly believe that crap? Is it just a way of making them feel special and elite so that they can look down on all the hard working people struggling just to get by?

It doesn't make sense from a talent perspective, tbh. I mean, when we look at the studies of flow and performance and whatnot - people do best when they are challenged and having fun. They will put in 200%, will step up and identify and fix things of their own volition, will be motivated in a way that doesn't happen when you're a corporate drone working in a soul-sucking environment where you're just a cog in some bureaucratic wheel.

On a more personal level...

I suppose I'm more internally then externally motivated. Always wanted to be my best self. If you think of the difference between someone motivated by fear and one motivated by fulfillment, I have always wanted more of the latter. I think that would lead to being that best self, and I'm curious about who that person would be. I'd really like to meet her.

That's part of why I made a promise to myself, when I went to college. Way back then I knew that I could do well in this society we made. I do well in school environments, I'm a good employee, and it's not that hard to 'fit in'. Going to college just seemed like the natural next step in the path laid out for people like me.

But I didn't want to follow it just because it was normal and natural, I wanted to do it because I really wanted to be there. 

So I made sure that every class I took was one I was truly interested in.

It helps that I'm naturally curious, that my interests allowed me to find classes that fit the graduation requirements and sated that curiosity. Oceanography for science, that class on human rationality for the math requirement (which did cover logic and other things, though not quite the same way as we did in discrete math since it actually looked at the many ways we aren't logical). Other classes that shaped my thinking and that I still appreciate even today.

But somehow things never quite worked out how I expected at the time, and one thing or another happened, and here I am. Older than I want to admit and with quite a few major career changes under my belt, and although I did well at my last job it was a bit too much like my fears when I went to college that first time.

Taking the convenient and 'safe' path to pay the bills, and not really following up on my genuine interests.

Hacking... to be honest I never really wanted to be a hacker. Being a blue team defender was appealing, and understanding how they hack is interesting and I've been enjoying the Burp Suite labs quite a bit. But most of those skills seem to lean more towards penetration tester or bug bounty hunter (i.e. a white hat hacker) then really helping use that knowledge to make things better.

Perhaps I should focus more on certifications that would let me find a job there. (Though there are far too many to choose from, and figuring out which to focus on... )

Well. Not really want I want to delve into right now. Besides, answering that might matter from the 'find a source of stable income' perspective, but they do nothing to address what Trump and his wrecking crew are doing to this nation.

What still feels strange is how... partisan things are. There are many people who see the same problems I do. Who are upset and talking about the various decisions, and the dangers unleashed. Deporting a US citizen, punishing dissidents, threatening to withhold aid from states that don't sufficiently kiss the ring.

And yet those who support Trump don't see it, and we're all stuck with the perennial question of - do they not see it because they're blind? Or because they know and are okay with dismantling everything America used to stand for? Gullible fools or cynical enablers?

And how did we wind up with so many of them, anyway?

More importantly - what do we do about it?

I think things are going to get worse before they get better. After all, even if people like me are horrified by how much damage has been done in the last couple of months, it still doesn't seem to have seeped into the public consciousness. And nobody seems to have successfully stopped the madness.

It doesn't help that the Trump administration is so chaotic. Are they truly going to risk a war with Canada? Or Greenland? Or is it just bluster and hot air (and trade war tariffs?)

Incompetence or malevolence? Or incompetent malevolence?

And what can one not-politically-connected person like myself even do about it? My congressional representatives so far seem to be doing the right things, so I don't necessary feel like I need to call up their offices and extort them to do anything different. I would say differently to anyone in a red district, but we here are pretty much blue across the board.

I do try to throw the occasional article into my social media feed. I have some online friends who are conservative, and I worry that they only get their news from like-minded people, and just aren't aware. But I doubt it makes that much of a difference, and I also don't want to spam my feed too much. Really, social media is not the best place for nuanced and in depth discussion of complicated topics anyway. It's better to have those discussions at things like the family Thanksgiving, or some other activity where people don't automatically label disagreement as 'libtards' or 'rethuglicans' and accept that both parties genuinely want what's best for America. (The number of times I have seen some short and quick meme that is... so simplified and incomplete that it's just plain wrong, and yet I know trying to explain why in more depth is not going to go over well... sigh.)

The problems seem so much larger than me, and require persuading people who have no reason to listen...

Again. Sigh.

Which makes me fallback on all that religious upbringing, and think a bit about faith.

There must be a way. I do think 'when God closes a door, He opens a window'. Or something like that. 

I mean, I do have to do my part. I can't just sit back and somehow expect things to fall in my lap. No savior is somehow going to miraculously decide to give me the resources I'd need to truly make a difference, and tbh I'm not interested in becoming an organizer who devotes their life to a specific cause. Unless that cause is 'make America live up to its potential, for all Americans'.

A bit too large and unwieldy to truly focus on, unless I can somehow become an eccentric billionaire. (Oh, the things I could do with that! Too bad it's wasted on fools that just keep making things worse.)

Well, accumulating massive wealth had never truly been my motivator, so that would probably take a miracle too.

Faith...

Maybe, if I keep myself open and keep looking, I'll see the path forward.

I hope I do before too much longer.

Monday, April 14, 2025

A Good Quote

“…It’s not about frontier spirit, or adventure or any of that sappy ’what’s-over-the-next-horizon’ bollocks,” he declared. “It’s the simple fact of humans that we go stir-fookin’-crazy unless we’ve got summat important to do. Summat to fight for. And if we can’t find owt that’s important, we start fighting over unimportant shit instead.”

Kirk nodded slowly. “And Cimbrean is something important.”

“Fookin’ right it is! Because maybe, just fookin’ maybe, if we can claw out a future for ourselves, if we can give people an actual life’s work rather than leaving ‘em as meat in the grinder, the day may yet come where there’s no poor bastards left who think the only future they have is blowing themselves up for God, or whatever.”


-- The Deathworlders

Be Not Afraid

 I've been thinking about the biblical Flood lately.

Or rather... thinking about how God must see us. Fallible, afraid, screwing up left and right (the Old Testament is full of stories where that happens. Even, or perhaps especially, King David.)

So much so that He decided to just drown everyone and start over.

And afterwards, gave us the rainbow to show He'd never go so far again.

You could say that He decided that drowning everything and starting over wasn't really a good answer.

And then we have the Bible, over and over again, tell us "Do not be afraid".

The more I learn and grow, the more I think fear truly is the mindkiller. Fear makes us small, fear justifies doing things we know is wrong. Scarcity politics come from fear - that the world is a zero sum game, and that if we don't fight for what's ours that we will lose out. That ourselves and our people could starve or die if we didn't secure access to the things we need.

Which easily turns into 'so if they succeed, I lose'. 

Alas, our society does not make it easy to live without fear. 

In some ways I think that's the worst part about losing the family farm. Losing small businesses. Losing independence. Sure... those aren't always ideal work environments and aren't always led by the greatest people either. But something happens when you have the large organization structures that dominate so much of our world today.

And I don't think it's always conscious, or even evil. It's like... think about how you ever act when dealing with your boss, or presenting information to a VIP. 

People will try to put their best foot forward. They might even research and learn how the target likes to have data presented. Do you build a complex graph? Do you give a quick executive summary? Do you delve into all the little details and have backup information ready in case they delve into the details?

Do they prefer morning meetings or afternoon? Do you check with a secretary or someone near them to see if they're in a good mood?

Do you provide their favorite snacks or drinks?

All of that can be pretty normal, but it's also the type of situation where people start self-censoring, which I think is part of how so many powerful people wind up surrounded by 'yes-men'.

'The boss' might not like your idea. Might fire you. Might ridicule you. So... people tone down anything that might not go over well. Maybe massage the data a little. Choose not to bring up certain topics. Make sure any loudmouths who might disrupt things is not invited.

The person being presented all this may not even realize how often this happens. Might not even ask for it, though they often have to work very hard to make it clear they prefer the truth (and demonstrate that they really mean that, every time they are presented with uncomfortable truths) if they want to avoid it.

Which is part of why I despise this current belief that 'truthiness' is fine. The minute you start letting your organization get away from accepting facts, you've doomed your decision making process.

But let's not go there right now.

The current situation in America is so depressing that I don't even know where to start. And yet it's still seen as a partisan issue rather than a bi-partisan and patriotic one. If you pay attention to the news you know what I'm talking about. A US citizen - an actual citizen!!! Not someone here on a visa, or here illegally (though a quick look at wikipedia shows he gained his citizenship after doing so).

Is that why they aren't up in arms? They think how someone gets their citizenship should make a difference? Or is it just that Kilmar Abrego Garcia doesn't have a name like John Smith?

There's a clear trend, to, amongst all the daily craziness.

Dissidence is punished. Norms are broken. Boundaries are constantly being tested. If one US citizen is allowed to be deported like that, how long before others are, too?

Does citizenship no longer provide any sort of protection?

The initial test cases are - well, they're obviously the type that typical Americans might not care about.

A US citizen with a clearly hispanic name, who originally arrived illegally.

Pressure on foreign students for speaking out on political matters that they disagree with.

There's no clear smoking gun, it's mostly ICE doing obscure and hidden activity, not the US Army being sent in clear violation of the posse comitatus act, nor even a calling out of the National Guard by some sympathetic governor (since they truly belong to teh state, and the president can only legally use them for specific reasons.)

But as guardrail after guardrail and institution after institution has folded like a wet paper tissue, it's hard to believe those legal protections matter.

After all, they didn't help Kilmar Garcia, did they? 

Perhaps the most disturbing part of all this, to me, is realizing that all those things I used to think we - as Americans - stood for are just not so.

Truth, justice, and the American way?

Puh-leeeze.

Nobody seems to care about truth or justice anymore. As for the American way - our history shows over and over again that that is muddy and murky. We can somehow be both xenophobic and isolationist as well as enlightened, engaged, and idealistic. I don't believe one view is true and the other false - they both are true, and have been throughout our history. Deciding which is more true today is part of what we, as a society, decide.

I am now grappling with the realization that all those values I thought we shared - in the Constitution, in the Bill of Rights, in the separation of powers and checks and balances, all the hard earned lessons to professionalize our civil service and get away from political corruption - are not as widely shared as I thought.

And, in fact, some of the people most loudly proclaiming that they love America and want it to be great, know so little about what they claim to love.

It is tempting to wish, like God, to just start all over. 

I suspect that's not the answer though, any more than it was in the Bible. That perhaps the right response is to remind people 'be not afraid'.

Which would be a helluva lot easier if I wasn't currently hunting for employment myself, and dealing with my own fears at the moment.


Wednesday, April 2, 2025

The Executive

 I wanted to explain a little more about how a good executive works.

First - almost anybody who has managed other people has into the problem where they don't do the work as you expect. One reaction is to just do it yourself - micromanaging - but that runs into a problem.

Namely, that you if you are given more and more responsibility, you eventually reach the point where one person can't do it all. There are so many hours in a day, so much work you can do before you are overwhelmed (and maybe even burnt out).

Alternatively, you can focus on just the ones who somehow manage to perform as you expect. Perhaps finding the 'whales' - but that also has its problems. It basically puts the burden on those who already know what to do, and ignores the underperformers. Then the people you rely on may get overwhelmed and burnt out whereas the rest are able to coast by. (The people focusing on the 'whales' then compete for those already able to do the job, rather than developing more people and getting them to the point where they are also able to perform.)

There's an additional problem here. Because as anybody who has ever been a subordinate knows, they are keenly aware of what the boss wants... and will strive to look good in their eyes. Simply telling them to do a task and then measuring performance on how well they achieve it means that you may ignore how they achieve it. It pressures them, sometimes to do things that are illegal... or even just browbeating their own subordinates, which eventually will drive them off. (Seriously, unless you take major steps to indicate you want to know the truth, and then prove it - repeatedly - by how you react to bad news, and also make sure you've got good feedback mechanisms, it is too easy to get blindsided by things you just don't know).

Delegation is not just a fire and forget kind of task. You have to have a good understanding of who you're delegating to, and what they're capabilities are. Maybe they're experienced and just need a general order, maybe they're new to the job and need a bit more involvement. Knowing which is part of your job.

And part of that job involves setting them up for success. Do they know the task? Do they know the standard expected? Do they have the resources they need? The funding, the personnel, the equipment?

If you can't clearly show you've given them those things, then you've set them up for failure... and it's not that they're a bad subordinate, or lazy, or whatever excuse you have for thinking any failure is theirs and not yours. (In my experience, it's poor leadership rather than poor employees that are the problem, and if you give them the tools to succeed they will.)

For complex projects, it's helpful to identify all the tasks that need to be accomplished to reach the end goal. That's where project managers come into play, and the tasks and timelines marked in some sort of project management tool, but I can illustrate this point with something much more familiar - Thanksgiving dinner.

If you want to have Thanksgiving dinner at 4pm on Thanksgiving Day, you have to figure out the timeline of all the events leading up to it.

The turkey has to be thawing about three days out (depending on the size of the turkey). The potatoes need to be peeled and ready to cook around an hour out. You have some leeway, depending on how many potatoes there are, but they can also sit in the hot water for a little while so an hour gives you plenty of time for them to cook - and then just before dinner you can mash them and add whatever fixings you want.

Same for casseroles, and pies, and stuffing, and any food to nibble on. (If we're having spinach dip or cheese dip we may prep them the day before, and then they're ready to eat all day long).

You have to assign the tasks to whoever you want. Is someone responsible for a particular casserole? Are they going to bring it already cooked? Or ready to cook? How long will it take? Is there enough space in the oven for it, along with all the other things? If using the stove top, are there enough burners? Can something be cooked earlier to ensure all of it gets done on time?

Most mothers somehow manage to track all of this in their heads, but if they were to put it in a project management tool you would soon get a list of all the tasks and which have to be done by which point in time... and you'd better make sure someone buys the ingredients ahead of time, because trying to find eggs or green beans, or sweet potatoes on Thanksgiving Day can be a bit difficult.

If someone new in the family is hosting Thanksgiving, it generally doesn't hurt to ask if they've got the turkey thawing a few days prior. It's generally easy enough to do during some sort of call to coordinate plans, and if it's not necessary then no harm done - but if they've forgotten or inexperienced enough not to know, then you've saved everyone the stress of worrying how you'll cook thanksgiving dinner with a frozen turkey.

All of this, btw, is a lot of work. Maybe you don't have to do each and every task yourself, but making sure everything happens on time and bringing it all together so that the meal is ready when you've told everyone it will be is no small feat.

To bring this back to business - management is more than just tracking KPI's and reporting on the results. It requires really knowing. Know your people, know what they're doing, know that you've given them the tools to succeed. That you're aware of any blockers and have time to resolve them before the tasks need to be done. 

That entire skillset seems more rare then I expected. You can see that in companies like Boeing, where their CEO said they have "made serious missteps in recent years."

You see that in executives who seem to think they can manage by fiat. Just tell people to do something, but whether or not they follow through depends on how skilled they are at all the things I listed above. The executive isn't doing it, instead they just yell at them if they fail and praise them if they succeed - but they're not really involved enough to know if the tasks are being done to standard, or even legally.

Governing by fiat is, in some ways, the same problem I pointed out with regards to programming. It's abstracting away all the messy bits, simplifying it... and ultimately obfuscates problems and only succeeds if the someone lower down does what's necessary. Sometimes without any acknowledgement or understanding by the people who delegated it to them.

Anyways, in American Congress (as the legislative branch) is supposed to decide the what and the president (as the executive branch) is supposed to decide the how.

There has been immense pressure over decades to make the president the point person, and hold them responsible for both the how and the what, but that's not really what the Constitution says.

And governing by fiat both takes the 'what' from Congress and is incomplete without a plan for 'how'.