Current Events, and I Can't Think of a Good Title

 I am not sure where to start. I had two or three major ideas for posts yesterday, but a) I've slept since then and b) they don't seem as high a priority as the current situation. (I'm sure the general themes will come up again later, and if it's convenient I may write something then.)

As for the current situation... there's so many different threads to follow. There's Twitter banning Trump (and almost all the other social media sites doing the same.) It's made social media a little surreal right now. We're still dealing with the aftermath of Wednesday, and Trump and his allies are already sending messages that they're going to try again some time before Biden's inauguration. There's the various reactions of my own personal network. My friends and family.

Oh! And I wanted to post something about how and why so many of us learned to distrust the MSM! 

That does seem to be one of the underlying factors. ('5 Why' analysis, right? People wouldn't be listening to these inaccurate sources if they hadn't decided not to trust the MSM and start 'doing their own research'. Which is a whole other topic.)

But I think I want to start with something I brought up yesterday. The differing opinions on the following statements:

Discrimination against whites is as big a problem today as discrimination against blacks and other minorities.

Things have changed so much that I often feel like a stranger in my own country

Immigrants get more than their fair share of government resources

People on welfare often have it better than those who work for a living

Speaking English is “essential for being a true American,” 

African-Americans “need to stop using racism as an excuse.”

Like I said yesterday, I disagree with pretty much every single one of these. I don't think that laying out all the reasons why, all the facts and statistics, will help though. Because this is more about emotion than it is about facts.

It's fear, and anger. It's not just the obvious ones either (fear of being discriminated against, anger at the group they think is causing so much pressure to change.) There's also fear of losing 'the Protestant work ethic'. Fear - and as I type this it becomes more clear. I can even hear my more conservative relatives complaining about policies that discourage personal responsibility - fear of losing a way of life.

And anger at all the various forces pressuring them to change. This doesn't mean there's not a hefty dose of racism involved. 

It's more like this, though.

Imagine you're the wife in a relationship, and your husband (or wife) has a tendency to eat a bowl of cereal in the night, and leave the dishes out on the table. Every morning you wake up to find a bowl sitting there with dried out cereal stuck to the sides.

It's a minor thing. Not worth raising a fuss over. So you say nothing, try to get past it. It'd sound ridiculous to fight over a dirty dish, right?

It starts as a tiny irritation, but every day it builds. So one day you decide to say something.

Now, this is your truth. It's not a happy truth, and it's not a truth that your spouse will probably like hearing. But you've already tried ignoring it, already told yourself that it's no big deal... and it's not going away. When you finally decide to speak, one of two things is likely to happen. (Okay, there's probably more... but I'm keeping it simple.)

She or he (I'm going to use 'he' so I don't have to keep typing that) may feel a little upset, but also take your concern seriously and promise... not that he would always wash the bowl. Maybe that he'd rinse it out,  or leave it to soak, or whatever. 

That sort of negotiation is highly dependent on the people involved and not something you can say should be resolved any particular way. The important part was that you spoke up about something that bothered you, they heard it and responded with their own truth, and you try to work out a solution you can live with.  (He might say 'I'm sorry, I'm forgetful. I can't guarantee I'll remember. But every time I forget just remind me that I forgot and I'll do X.) 

It's not about one person or another getting their way, it's about respecting each other's wants and needs and trying to find a way to meet it without compromising your own. 

Alternatively -

He gets upset that she's angry with him, gets defensive, goes on the attack with something completely unrelated to the dirty dishes, and stubbornly refuses to do One. Thing. Different.

You see the problem here? Now it's no longer about the dishes. Now it's about control, and shame on you for trying to control him. That's just the way he is, and if you love him you'll have to accept that. 

Get over it.

Let it go.

Don't attack me. Don't make me try to change. Don't make me respect your wants and needs, or listen to you, or try to make you happy.

(That's not actually being said ofc, and is probably not even a conscious thought. But I hope you can see why it might be subtext.)

Okay, so what was the point of all that?

It's just something I noticed with all the BLM protests. They expressed a concern. They had a grievance. They spoke their truth. 

And there are some police departments who have taken those concerns seriously, and tried to address them. I have come across an article or two talking about one particular police chief's efforts to combat racism in the force. Another discussing how body cameras have actually helped them police more effectively. It allowed them to show the family of the deceased what really happened, answered their questions, and proved that the police were acting in the line of duty.

Unfortunately, such responses have been few and far between. 

The vast majority of them, like the second cereal scenario, got defensive and angry. Started talking about how 'Blue Lives Matter', and that we need to support the police. Angrily blamed the black communities for all the divisiveness.

Don't make them try to change. Don't make us listen to black people. Why, if we do that we'll have anarchy in the streets!

And ofc the police are angry, and in some places even stopped doing their jobs, and crime went up. That's what you get when you act so unreasonable. 

Now it's not about black lives, now it's about control. It's about reasserting the current state of affairs, and suppressing any attempt to make it different.

I don't really know the ins and outs of every single time a black man or woman died in the last decade. I don't know all the evidence, I don't feel comfortable judging the use of force. 

But I can and do judge the police for refusing to take these concerns seriously. "Liberty and justice for all" was in the Pledge of Allegiance. I have been dismayed to discover that far too many Americans don't actually support it.

Updated to add: The family argument was just over some dirty dishes. BLM is about black people dying. But God forbid someone take a knee to peacefully protest. 

An Example of RCA

An article that asks the '5 why's', and digs deep into why black men are particularly vulnerable to coronavirus. 

Pittsburgh Shooting, Trump, Hate

I remember my surprise when a Facebook friend pointed out that Trump's daughter was Jewish. She married a Jew.

Trump gets painted as such a racist piece of s*** that it surprised me to learn about his family. And, to be honest, it made me reconsider some of what I was seeing in the news.

So I didn't really weigh in on the most recent horrific tragedy, but I kind of wanted to highlight this story. Since it discusses precisely that (and the looks on Ivanka and her husband's faces as they watched Trump are truly something.)

I have been... disappointed in the current political environment for all sorts of reasons, and have sort of been taking a break from it. (Which, yes, I'm aware is a privilege... the fact that I can tune things out when it's too much.) Not that I plan on doing nothing, midterms are a week away after all.

But too much of my thoughts and feelings either fall under 'preaching to the choir and unlikely to reach anyone who doesn't already agree with me' or, well, it's been hard to feel like there was any point to writing it, anyway.

Though I do think it's critical, in a time like this, to stand up and say "this isn't right." Whether it's shooting black people at a grocery store or Jews in Pittsburgh, it's not okay.

But... well. I recently took my little to her hometown football game, and it reminded me of how different the vast majority of Americans are from the crap we see on TV. My little, who is friends with a number of black girls (two of whom will be coming to my house tonight, since apparently all three of them are trying out for basketball. I get roped into dropping off or picking up her friends fairly regularly, but I don't mind too much.)

Anyways. A Friday night football game, and the players are white and black and mixed all over. Family members watching- black, white, hispanic, asian...

This is America. The America I saw at Six Flags the other day (my little's mother's birthday is in October, and we have season passes that get upgraded if we use them before the end of the year, so it's sort of become a tradition to go for Fright Fest.) is not what you see in the news. The three of us, with my little's friend (a black girl) drove three hours to Six Flags, where the lines were full of average Americans. Again - black, white, hispanic, asian. Tattooed, pierced, or none at all. People we saw in passing while waiting in line, talked to about various experiences (we got all the way to the front of one line, only for a technical difficulty to prevent us from riding at that time. And chatted with another lady at one point regarding whether or not she'd be able to fit in the seats.)

And it's hard to believe any of them would truly turn on each other.

And yet, there are these shootings. And the stories you hear in the news. And all I can think of is that we do have fringe elements, as there have always been fringe elements.

The problem, I think, with Trump is not necessarily that he himself is hateful. He might be, he might not, he's definitely more complicated than the buffoonish caricature he often comes across as. But he seems perfectly willing to tap into that hatred, and at the very least, to stand aside and say nothing when said 'fringe elements' act.

Since there are always people on the edge, crazies who will overreact, it's hard to say how much a public figure is responsible for other people's actions. But I do know that standard responses are to condemn any actions out of line, and to make it clear that you really don't support and encourage them.

From that perspective, Trump's actions are... underwhelming.

And very, very disturbing.