No Kings

 Tomorrow I plan to go to a No Kings protest.

I don't know if it will really change anything, yet I can't just sit by and do nothing while that wrecking crew of Trump and his allies continue to destroy this country.

I wanted to talk more about my reasons here... though I feel as though I've layed them out in most of my posts already.

This protest...

There's a lot of fear going around right now. The feeling that things aren't normal, that the protests might escalate and get out of hand and give Trump the excuse to declare martial law and continue to make things even worse.

And yet, what's the alternative? To stay home and let others take the risks? To be one of the free riders that benefits from other people standing up, while taking none of the risks myself? When the more people that step up, the more likely we are to make a difference?

It's a bit like dealing with a domestic abuser - standing up, protesting... these things might make the abuser escalate into more dangerous behavior, but doing nothing just lets them continue their bad behavior without challenge. 

People are afraid, and so I hear and know the advice we've been given. Try to hide your identity. Maybe wear a mask, or bring a burner phone. All of which makes perfect sense when fighting a truly authoritarian government - but are we there yet? 

Protests are part of freedom of speech, the very first right engraved in the Bill of Rights. We should be able to do so without fear of repercussion, and the very fact that people are worried about that shows the danger we're in.

So despite knowing all that, I don't think I'll take such precautions. Not yet, at least. Not before it's proven necessary.

There's more to my thinking, of course. Some of it is tied in with things I've been musing on as I've been searching for my next job.

That fear of instability, the need for a source of income, has definitely taken up quite a bit of my mindspace right now. I've been studying hard to learn about information security. Doing rooms on the tryhackme site, working through some books a kind mentor sent me for the SANS SEC504 course (which could lead to a GCIH certificate).

And yet, when I get back to my roots and think long and hard about where I want to be... at the heart I have always cared most about this country and my definition of it's national security.

And when I look at the world around me, when I read the news and see what's going on in social media, I am angry.

I studied political science, and public affairs. I served in the Army because I believe in this country. Naive and innocent though it may sound, especially the more I learn about our history and the things we've done, I still believe in the potential we have. 

The Constitution.

The Bill of Rights.

A way of living and deciding who we will be based on government by the people, for the people, and of the people.

A path for change that comes from regular elections, legitimately and without the need for revolution or rebellion.

A path that is in danger, by people like Trump who have no respect for any of that. Who feel that elections that they might lose are somehow the problem, rather than the core of what makes America... America.

Part of what I have been struggling with is realizing that so many of my fellow Americans don't understand that.

That they can see and hear the things Trump is doing and just... disregard it. It's not even like they're knowingly looking the other way. It's like a mirror world where black is white and white is black, and they somehow approve and think that Trump is doing good and cheer when he mobilizes the National Guard (against a state governor's wishes!). Like they don't even understand why that's such a bad thing.

I know that this is more about me than people in general. It's like... in a relationship, right? You have who you think your partner is, and the reality of who they are, and when something happens that isn't what you expected it's hard not to feel angry and disappointed. But they haven't truly changed, they are who they are... it's your expectation of who they are that was wrong, and you are now learning something important about the reality you didn't expect.

So you have to update your mental image of who they are.

I had thought all those people waving flags and declaring how much they love this country actually meant it. That they understood how important the Constitution was, and ultimately cared more about the country than any specific party.

This was... probably, again, naive and idealistic. 

Apparently they don't really mean it, and only wave the flag and cheer when it's a politician they support.

I mean... intellectually I kind of knew this. It's natural human bias at work. Tribalism, nationalism, whatever word or term you want to use. They care more about some stupid party than the nation as a whole, though I'm sure in their own minds there's no conflict between the two (and they think supporting said stupid party will help the nation as a whole - even when the party is doing blatantly unconstitutional acts that undermine all our traditions and rules and laws.)

I don't want to despise my fellow Americans so much, so I try to reconcile that ideal with the reality. I know it's not actually black and white, and I'm aware of some of the layers of complexity... but I'm not really there yet.

There's been so much disappointment. The media, which somehow manages to harp on Biden's health issues for weeks and months and yet doesn't clearly lay out the dangers Trump poses. The Supreme Court, Congress, wealthy tech bros and wealthy people in general. All the powers-that-be that enable this... whether actively aiding and abetting or passively hunkering down.

Black is white, and white is black, and who knows where we'll be in another year? In three?

Still, better to speak out and say something now, then be another free rider.