Still Alive

I haven't felt the urge to write a post, but figured I could give a quick update.

It's just...

Over a month ago I commented about how utterly predictable and preventable the loss of life from coronavirus is.

And yet here we are, our daily new case rate returning to ~30K, just like it was when New York was a major hotspot.

I don't expect it will be quite the same, yet. That 30K is spread across the entire US rather than one tremendous metropolis.

But things are beginning to get bad. I heard a twitter comment that Dallas hospitals are almost overwhelmed. The South and the West are steadily climbing.

And...

If I think about that, if I think about what I said before... about how this was entirely preventable...

Then I feel rage. 

So I don't think about it. (I have said my piece, tried to persuade those who were persuadable. My friends and family either already agree, or are probably not going to agree until something changes. It's not so much that I've given up as that I'm biding my time, though that decision has been made based on an instinct I'm not entirely sure I trust.)

I suppose it'd be easier to act as though the pandemic is a natural disaster.

Like a hurricane or flood. (Which, technically, is sort of true. But even though Hurricane Katrina was a natural disaster, we all understood that the poor management with regards to the levees and flood response was what made it a true disaster. And those things were entirely in our control.)

What was it Stalin said? 'One death is a tragedy, millions is a statistic'?

I never thought I would see the day where our own leadership acted like that. Uncaring, unconcerned with the lives of their citizens, and perfectly willing to convince people that it's not their poor leadership that's responsible for the loss. Just some unfortunate fate. Or divine punishment. Or the Chinese. Or a conspiracy or coup.

I...

I don't have any words right now.

Right now most people have close their minds, and we're seem set on the course we're on.

If things do get as bad as I fear, then I suspect a lot of things are going to change. I'm just not yet certain what shape those changes are going to take.

Regulations

This came around on Tumblr again. Since I've mentioned it before, this time I saved a link:

https://just-another-kurtsie.tumblr.com/post/621317677788577792/fuckingconversations-flowisaconstruct

Update

I was on vacation last week, and had promised myself not to try and obsessively watch the news.

At the time, that was because of the pandemic, ofc, and I was tired of always following such depressing news.

Which is why I didn't hear about George Floyd as quickly as I normally do when something big hits the news.

Since then...

I have struggled to think about what to say. Or rather, I want to say pretty much what everyone else has. It's awful, there's no excuse or justification for it, it's wrong, and there have been far too many incidents like this.

But...

Then what?

I still think the pandemic is a major concern, and I'm not sure it's a good idea to protest... but I'm also glad to see people standing against this. Should I be one of them? I don't know.

It's important, as a white person, to show that we are also outraged by this. That it's not a black vs white issue. It's also important to bear witness, especially since the presence of white people can also change how the police react. (You can't help being born whatever race you are, but you can try to learn to use whatever you've got effectively, for good purposes.)

The looting and rioting... how much of it is the protestors, how much of it is outside agitators? Who knows?

Is this the excuse many think Trump and his ilk are looking for? Are we about to see the loss of the democracy we hold so dear?

Again... who knows.

It's depressing, and scary, and as an individual I'm not sure how best to show my support for the things I want.

And sometimes I wonder if it even matters.

The powers-that-be seem too powerful, too corrupt, and too entrenched. They're short-sighted idiots that don't even seem to realize what a mess they're making of things, and nobody seems in a position to give them the kick to the seat of the pants that they so desperately seem to need.

Speaking out is tough, because to most I'm just speaking to the choir. They already get it, they already agree...

It's the ones best positioned to actually make a difference that don't, and the reasons they're so out of touch seem to create an insurmountable obstacle.

I hate sounding defeated, ofc. I want to end this on a more hopeful note, instead of sounding like we're destined for a post-apocalyptic nightmare, but it's very hard to do.

I'm not sure what will happen in the next year. I hope... I hope that we come out of it with an American I can still recognize. The America I know and love - with it's Smiths and Johnsons and Nguyens and Parks. Gonzales' and Trojanowskys. It's Sarahs and Letitias, Marias and Rajashekars.

I'll try to focus on doing what little I can, and guess I'll just have to see what happens.